Original Dream Catcher
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In some Native American and First Nations cultures, a dreamcatcher or dream catcher (Ojibwe: asabikeshiinh, the inanimate form of the word for 'spider')[1] is a handmade willow hoop, on which is woven a net or web. The dreamcatcher may also include sacred items such as certain feathers or beads. Traditionally they are often hung over a cradle as protection.[2] It originates in Anishinaabe culture as the 'spider web charm' (Anishinaabe: asubakacin 'net-like', White Earth Band; bwaajige ngwaagan 'dream snare', Curve Lake Band[3]), a hoop with woven string or sinew meant to replicate a spider's web, used as a protective charm for infants.[2]
Dreamcatchers were adopted in the Pan-Indian Movement of the 1960s and 1970s and gained popularity as a widely marketed 'Native crafts items' in the 1980s. [4]
Ojibwe origin[edit]
Ethnographer Frances Densmore in 1929 recorded an Ojibwe legend according to which the 'spiderwebs' protective charms originate with Spider Woman, known as Asibikaashi; who takes care of the children and the people on the land. As the Ojibwe Nation spread to the corners of North America it became difficult for Asibikaashi to reach all the children.[2] So the mothers and grandmothers weave webs for the children, using willow hoops and sinew, or cordage made from plants. The purpose of these charms is apotropaic and not explicitly connected with dreams:
Even infants were provided with protective charms. Examples of these are the 'spiderwebs' hung on the hoop of a cradle board. In old times this netting was made of nettle fiber. Two spider webs were usually hung on the hoop, and it was said that they 'caught any harm that might be in the air as a spider's web catches and holds whatever comes in contact with it.'[2]
Basil Johnston, an elder from Neyaashiinigmiing, in his Ojibway Heritage (1976) gives the story of Spider (Ojibwe: asabikeshiinh, 'little net maker') as a trickster figure catching Snake in his web.[5][clarification needed]
Modern uses[edit]
While Dreamcatchers continue to be used in a traditional manner in their communities and cultures of origin, a derivative form of 'dreamcatchers' were also adopted into the Pan-Indian Movement of the 1960s and 1970s as a symbol of unity among the various Native American cultures, or a general symbol of identification with Native American or First Nations cultures.[4]
The name 'dream catcher' was published in mainstream, non-Native media in the 1970s[6] and became widely known as a 'Native crafts item' by the 1980s,[7]by the early 1990s 'one of the most popular and marketable' ones.[8]
In the course of becoming popular outside the Ojibwe Nation during the Pan-Native movement in the '60s, various types of 'dreamcatchers', many of which bear little resemblance to traditional styles, and that incorporate materials that would not be traditionally used, are now made, exhibited, and sold by New age groups and individuals. Some Native Americans have come to see these 'dreamcatchers' as over-commercialized, like 'sort of the Indian equivalent of a tacky plastic Jesus hanging in your truck,' while others find it a loving tradition or symbol of native unity. [4]
A mounted and framed dreamcatcher is being used as a shared symbol of hope and healing by the Little Thunderbirds Drum and Dance Troupe from the Red Lake Indian Reservation in Minnesota. In recognition of the shared trauma and loss experienced, both at their school during the Red Lake shootings, and by other students who have survived similar school shootings, they have traveled to other schools to meet with students, share songs and stories, and gift them with the dreamcatcher. The dreamcatcher has now been passed from Red Lake to students at Columbine CO, to Sandy Hook CT, to Marysville WA, to Townville SC, to Parkland FL.[9][10][11]
See also[edit]
References[edit]
- ^'Free English-Ojibwe dictionary and translator - FREELANG'. www.freelang.net.
- ^ abcdDensmore, Frances (1929, 1979) Chippewa Customs. Minn. Hist. Soc. Press; pg. 113.
- ^Jim Great Elk Waters, View from the Medicine Lodge (2002), p. 111.
- ^ abc'During the pan-Indian movement in the 60's and 70's, Ojibway dreamcatchers started to get popular in other Native American tribes, even those in disparate places like the Cherokee, Lakota, and Navajo.' 'Native American Dream catchers', Native-Languages
- ^John Borrows, 'Foreword' to Françoise Dussart, Sylvie Poirier, Entangled Territorialities: Negotiating Indigenous Lands in australia and Canada, University of Toronto Press, 2017.
- ^'a hoop laced to resemble a cobweb is one of Andrea Petersen's prize possessions. It is a 'dream catcher'—hung over a Chippewa Indian infant's cradle to keep bad dreams from passing through. 'I hope I can help my students become dream catchers,' she says of the 16 children in her class. In a two-room log cabin elementary school on a Chippewa reservation in Grand Portage' The Ladies' Home Journal 94 (1977), p. 14.
- ^'Audrey Speich will be showing Indian Beading, Birch Bark Work, and Quill Work. She will also demonstrate the making of Dream Catchers and Medicine Bags.' The Society Newsletter (1985), p. 31.
- ^Terry Lusty (2001). 'Where did the Ojibwe dream catcher come from? Windspeaker - AMMSA'. www.ammsa.com. Sweetgrass; volume 8, issue 4: The Aboriginal Multi-Media Society. p. 19.CS1 maint: location (link)
- ^Marysville School District receives dreamcatcher given to Columbine survivors By Brandi N. Montreuil, Tulalip News. Posted on November 7, 2014
- ^'Showing Newtown they're not alone - CNN Video' – via edition.cnn.com.
- ^Dreamcatcher for school shooting survivors (paywall)
External links[edit]
| Wikimedia Commons has media related to Dreamcatcher. |
Dream Catcher
Omega and Alpha.
“Help! Somebody help me'. I scream as I run.
I turn looking behind me, a large white tiger with big blue eyes bounding after me. I'm running for my life, if that tiger gets a hold of me I'm dead.
I jump over a small creek and between trees in a lush forest. I'm running all out, as fast as I can.
Then, the worst possible thing that could happen does. I trip over a downed tree.
Thud, I look up to see the tiger over me. I brace myself for certain death.
I open my eyes and I am back in my bedroom.
I stare at the lift over my bed, and the wheel chair next to my bed. The cruel reality of my life comes crashing in.
I stare at the pictures on the wall that are all that remains what had been a life most people would have gladly traded for.
Prom pictures, my senior pictures, family photos.
Before the accident I was a gymnast, a straight A student, homecoming queen.
I was enthusiastically waiting September, when I would start college. I had a full scholarship.
All of that changed one night 4 months ago. I was riding home with my family from a gymnastics meet. My dad was driving I was in the passenger seat.
Mom was the coach, and she had to see that everything was put away, so she was going to be a little while, and had taken her own car.
I remember how happy I was, my future ahead of me, I had just won first place overall.
I remember my dad and I talking about what we were going to do to celebrate.
Then we noticed the car, in the opposite lane, he was driving erratically, and fast. The autopsy would later show he had three times the legal limit for blood alcohol.
We thought we were about passed him when he swerved and tapped the back of the car. We spun, collected him in the process and rolled.
I don't remember anything after that, until I woke up in the hospital. Evidently, what I was later told, is that the force of hitting the other car caused a roll over and both cars ended up in the ditch.
I had not worn my seat belt and I was thrown from the car, and then pinned. My dad was fine, no major injuries other than scrapes. The other driver had passed out. They got me out from under the car, just in time for the other car to go up in flames. They never got him out, he died in the fire.
And me, well in the rush to get me out from under the car, they didn't realize I had broken my neck. I woke up to being told I was permanently paralyzed.
I would come to find out that the pronouncement of paralysis would only be the beginning. At first the doctors weren't sure if I would regain use of my upper body, or if I was a quadriplegic.
I slowly regained use of my upper body, but I never did regain function of my lower body. It was months of physical therapy, learning to sit unassisted, feed myself, dress myself.
Once I could do those things, it was moving on to building upper body strength, getting used to my wheel chair, learning to use the lift that would help me get in and out of bed.
Things I had taken for granted for so many years.
I couldn't seem to understand how my life had any meaning or any purpose. My dreams, my future, were all gone in that crash. At times I felt like I would have preferred to have died in the crash.
Because of the time in rehabilitation I didn't graduate with my class, and college was nixed. I pushed away my close friends, and I had asked my parents to ask my boyfriend not to come see me. I just didn't want him to see my in this condition.
I fell into a pretty deep depression. I would start to cry when I thought about the future, what kind of job could I hold, kids were out of the question, much less anyone wanting to share their life with me.
There was just nothing to look forward to on a daily basis.
Then came the nightmares. I had very vivid dreams from the time I was a small child. Now there were nightmares, reliving the crash, the dreams of being chased, dreams of monsters, of falling. I would wake up screaming many nights.
The tiger dream was a reoccurring dream I had since I was young, but now it has taken on new terror.
Each night was a different and horrific torture. For a time the nightmares got so bad I refused to go to sleep. Eventually they started giving me powerful sleeping pills so I could at least sleep a little bit. When I used the sleeping pills I wouldn't dream at all, but I also wouldn't wake up rested. On top of it that medicine would make me nauseous for most of the day. As if I hadn't had enough taken from me, then fate felt the need to take sleep from me too.
“Sara, honey, are you up yet?” My mom's voice shocks me out of deep thought.
“Yeah mom, I'm up.” I shouted back.
I've been back home for a little over a month, the rehab center felt they had done all they could, and they remainder of my recovery could be done at home.
In the time I was in the rehabilitation center, my parents had renovated the house, ramps, putting things where I could get at them, whatever they could do to make my life easier.
But it was an adjustment, there were constant reminders that things were forever changed. Not being able to help set the table, or do laundry, or have to be driven everywhere I wanted to go.
Just when I was the age when I was supposed to be gaining my independence, I was a baby again.
My mom and I had been close, now we were getting into arguments on a regular basis.
On top of everything because I was out of the rehab center they had changed the sleeping pills to cure the nausea, and I was having the nightmares again.
I dress myself, the process is painstakingly slow. There is a knock on the door and my mom comes into my room, helps me into the lift, and into my wheel chair.
Another day, I say to myself with a sigh.
I wheel down to the living room where there is a couple seated on our couch.
I look at my mom in bewilderment. “Sara, this is Edward and Sue McMillion, they're psychologists, they think they can help you with the nightmares.”
“Shrinks? No way, no, I don't need a shrink. I can work through this on my own.” I yell.
The woman stand up and comes toward me, “Listen, Sara, your mom has told us about the nightmares, the waking up screaming, the anger. We can help you. No surgery. No meds. We can help you help yourself. You have so many opportunities, so much to live for. Please give this a chance.”
“Fine. Now what?” I say coldly still not believing completely.
The gentleman says softly, “We have a ranch, where people come and stay while we help them. Some people only stay for a few days, some much longer, as long as needed for us to help. We can leave right now if you're willing.”
I look at my mom, in total shock, “You're sending me away?”
“We're trying to get you help. You just seem to be drifting away further and further.”
I blurt back “Or is it that you just don't want to deal with this. Out of sight out of mind.”
“No, no, that isn't it...” my mom said her voice quivering.
Sue puts her hand on my shoulder, “Sara, your mom loves you enough to know you need more help.”
“What can you do?” I ask.
“Nothing, unless you let us.” Edward responded. He paused, and then added, “You don't understand, this is a beginning, not just an ending.”
I quietly consider the statement, then I think to myself I have nothing more to lose. “OK”
We go pack my clothes, and equipment. They wheel me outside, to the awaiting van.
Now it is my turn to ask the questions. Sue and Ed met while working on their Masters degrees in psychology. They married 1/2 way through their doctorate work. That was 20 years ago, they now have a thriving practice focusing on sleep and sleep dysfunction., as well as a 16 year old daughter.
Because you normally can't treat sleep problems on an out patient basis, they have converted a ranch into an residential treatment facility.
They work with about 20 to 30 patients at a time, everything from sleep walkers, to nightmare sufferers, to insomniacs. They use a combination of several non chemical treatments, self analysis, group therapy, biofeedback, to get to the root of the disorders.
After about a half hour drive, we pull down a rough twisty, curvy drive way.
They inform me that they have made renovations in the facility specifically to accommodate me. Ramps, and a special bed, they even consulted a specialist on paralysis.
The thought of the conscious effort this requires catches me off guard. What was so important about me that they would go to some much trouble, I thought to myself as they are parking the car and getting my wheelchair out.
I wish I knew what Ed and Sue see in me, as all I can see when I look at myself are broken dreams.
I wheel up to a large white farm house, one of 6 building on the complex, the main house, 2 secondary residences, 2 barns, mechanics shed.
As I wheel up the ramp in the main building, the biggest surpass is sprung on me. I was going to live in the main building. The McMillion’s home. That was the only place they had with a room large enough to house all the equipment I was bringing.
A young man, and a teenage girl greet us at the front door. Ed says softly, “This is Luke, our systems expert, and the young lady is Caroline our daughter.”
“Hi, I'm Sara.” I say as I shake hands with both of them. The teenage girl was pretty, short brown hair, blue eyes, and a friendly smile. The young man was in his early 20’s, glasses, long blond hair back in a pony tail, average height and muscular build.
I direct my question to the young man, “Do you mind me asking, what does a systems expert have to do with a sleep clinic?”
He laughs, “I ask myself that sometimes. No, seriously, there is a lot of computer and technology involved, they keep me plenty busy.”
“Oh.” I responded not quite understanding exactly how technology fit in with sleeping disorders, but I'm going to find out.
“Luke, Caroline, would you guys mind helping Sara get her bags to her room?” Sue asks politely.
“Her tone becomes more serious as she addresses me. “Dinner is at 5 o'clock, be down here at 4:50 and someone will show you how to get to the dinning hall.”
Luke and Caroline each grab a couple of bags, and they help me get situated into my room. I start to unpack, keeping one eye on the clock. The room is basic, a bed, a dresser, a closet, a desk. No TV, no phone, no computer, just basics.
My schedule for tonight is pretty open, although tomorrow will be a different story. I look at a packet laying on my bed.
The days to come will follow the same pattern, the morning starts with breakfast, followed by a meeting to review sleep data from the night before, individual counseling sessions, lunch, group therapy, education sessions, exercise, dinner, free time and then bed.
We'd be required to keep dream journals. I think to myself, as I finish looking at the packet, this sound more like drug or alcohol rehab than a sleep clinic. In time I will come to find out that the regimen was designed to control the different triggers and stimuli of sleep dysfunction.
I turn and look at the clock, 4:45, I had better get going. I make my way down the hallway and to the main corridor.
“Hey Sara.” Luke calls out as he walks toward me.
“We meet again.” I say back, a coy tone in my voice.
“Lets get going or we're going to be late. Follow me.”
From the main corridor we go down a hallway, turn right, and through a large set of doors. The dining room is beautiful, large windows looking out into the lake next to the house, 10 small tables set formally with table cloths, china, glasses and silverware.
It is bustling with activity as people are coming in and finding seats. They are all ages, and races, both men and women.
2 young women and a young man, are circulating with a check list getting names. To make sure everyone is accounted for, as well as where people are seated.
The facility has a record as to food allergies and so they customize the food for patients when it is necessary. It wasn't necessary for me. Tonight is chicken and vegetable stir fry. Not bad.
As we eat I find out a little more about Luke and we get a chance to talk.
He has a Bachelor of science degree with a major in information systems. He loves to fish, ride motorcross, and of course, playing with computers.
He looked for a job coming out of college for some time, then he remembered the McMillions. He was treated here when he was 10, he was a sleep walker. They had helped him so many years ago, now he was returning the favor. As we ate and talked, I caught myself staring into his soft green eyes on more than one occasion. You know better, I tell myself.
After dinner, Luke takes me on a tour of the main building, then the rest of the grounds.
The main building, an old farm house has three floors. The first floor consists of kitchen, dinning hall, TV lounge, and exercise room, as well as my room. The 2nd floor was rooms set up as class rooms, office space, and the library. The 3rd floor was the McMillions living quarters.
The other two residences were dorm style, with a communal living room, an exercise room, and a main desk.
I was the only person with my own room, the other patients were 2 to a room.
The animals are for therapy mostly, horses, cats and dogs.
Each building has 2 staff members working at nights monitoring patients, in case someone stopped breathing, sleepwalked, or had a nightmare. The head of night crew stays in the room next to me working on paperwork and keeping an eye on me.
I get myself out of my chair and into my lift, and into bed. The night worker hooks me up to several monitors, a heart monitor, a breathing monitor, and a brain waive monitor, all connected to a unit next to my bed.
If any of the three went outside the normal range during the night, the alarm would go off. There were also video cameras in each of the rooms to track night movements.
Slowly, quietly I drift off to sleep.
I'm back at the night of the crash, the car is coming towards us, I know what's going to happen, we're rolling, flipping, I hear metal grinding, I feel myself being thrown from the car, and I see it coming down at me. I wake up screaming.
Mary, the night shift supervisor is sitting by my bed, she asks me if I'm OK, and offers me a glass of water. I enter the dream in my dream journal, and try to go back to sleep.
I wake up the next morning to my alarm going off. I dress myself, get into my lift and into my wheel chair.
My entrance evaluation was the main part of my one on one secessions today. I eat a quick breakfast and then go to Sue and Ed's office.
They have other counselors that handle education and group sessions, but one on ones are with Sue and Ed. I arrive with my dream journal, and a folder with last nights readings.
Ed looks at the computer printouts as Sue looks at the diary. They go through a battery of preliminary questions, about how long I sleep, how often the nightmares come, what kind of nightmares.
Next they ask more in depth questions about recurring dreams. I proceed to tell them about the tiger dream that I have had since I was a child.
Sue turns and looks at Ed who is sitting looking ahead, wide eyed, “Oh dear. We weren't expecting this.” She says softly.
“Well, there is no denying it, she is the one Dana envisioned.”
“Excuse me, what are you talking about?” I ask demanding some sort of explanation
There is a long pause, finally Sue replies “Sara, sweetheart, you are a dream catcher.”
“A what???”
Ed jumps in, “Sara, have you ever heard the story of Joseph, from the bible, or certain native american shaman who could see the future?”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“Sara, Joseph was a dream catcher, so were many of those native american shaman. Most cultures have tales of dream catchers of some form or another. A dream catcher is someone with the ability to interpret, influence, and be involved in other people's dreams.
“You can tell this from me describing one reoccurring nightmare?”
Sue answers this time “No, not really, but when each dream catcher ends his or her ‘tour of duty’, they give a clue as to who the next catcher will be. Dana's spirit guide was a hawk, and she worked through drawings, this was one of her last drawings.”
Sue walks over to the bookcase and removes a wire bound sketch pad. She flips through several pages, and shows me one of the drawings.
It is a color pencil drawing of a large white tiger with prominent blue eyes. My heart skips a beat, it is the tiger from my dreams, but how? Could it be coincidence? No, the tiger from my dreams had very distinctive marking on the top of its head, and the drawing represented these perfectly. This was the exact tiger from my dreams. I swallow hard. Then slowly ask
“When was this drawn?”
Edward responds, “The date is on the drawing by where Dana signed it.”
I look down in the left hand corner of the sketch, and there was the signature and the date. I purposely keep the date out of focus for a moment not allowing myself to read it. Before reading it, I think to myself, this had to only have been done weeks ago, maybe 2 months at most. I allow myself to bring the date into focus, and as I do, I can't believe what I see. The drawing was done a year and a half ago. Long before the accident, long before any of this. I sit quietly, thunderstruck.
Finally I am able to get one word out, “How?”
“Dana worked with us for many years, she was a sweet, caring young woman. She had reoccurring dreams like you, from the time she was a child. Her parents were native american in heritage, and they knew from the time she was small what she was. We worked with her, trained her, she was like a daughter to us. She loved helping people, and was devoted to her work. But people don't live forever, and being a dream catcher has hazards, as you will come to find out. But before her work was done she had one last dream. And it was a vision of your tiger, your spirit guide.” Ed's voice having both a tone of fond memory and regret.
“What happened to Dana?” I ask fearful to know but deep down knowing I need to.
Sue stepped in softly saying “Like Ed said, being a dream catcher can be dangerous, there are forces that don't want dream catchers to succeed. There are forces in this world and the dream world that fight everything that dream catchers stand for. As if that weren't bad enough, if a dream catcher gets hurt in a dream, they get hurt in waking life. The dreams can sometimes overwhelm a dream catcher. Some dream catchers die in battle, so go into comas, and some lose their grip on sanity....”
“So, I'm going to either die, end up in a coma, or goes nuts?” I shoot back at Sue.
“No, Sara, for a lucky few there is an another option. There are a series of trials, a quest so to speak, that a dream catcher can try to complete. If the dream catcher succeeds, the dreams go away, the responsibility goes away. A new dream catcher is called. These trials aren't easy, they vary dream catcher to dream catcher, and they make the catcher face their deepest fears, their insecurities. Many dream catchers have died in the process. Dana died while going on the quest.”
I sit quietly staring at the picture, trying to absorb everything. I stutter “I need time to take this all in.”
Ed nods softly “You need to resolve your inner battles before you can start helping others. As for the tiger, that is your spirit guide. You need to take control of the dream, and challenge the tiger. If you do and succeed, she will be loyal to you until death.”
Sue jumps in “There are books you should read too, you need to start to train. There is so much work to be done.”
“But, But....” I stammer. The look they give me tells me any arguments I could make would do no good. “I don't have a choice do I?”
Sue looks at me with sympathy in her eyes “I know it seems like this is just going to make your life worse, but really, trust us, this is the path life has chosen for you.”
She loads me down with a whole big stack of books. Books of lore, legend, and stories. Diaries of dream catcher trainers going back years and years.
There is no one manual for how to be a successful dream catcher, but there are books that talk about being a dream catcher, and different aspects of being a dream catcher. Some books focus on what actions a dream catcher should take in certain dreams, some focus on mental, emotional, or physical training, some deal with dream catcher prophecy and lore, in addition to the trainers diaries, there were even some diaries from dream catchers themselves. I go back to my room I begin to read, and I don't necessarily like everything I am learning.
The books I read elaborate on the different concepts that Sue and Ed mentioned when we were talking. Dream catchers have existed almost since the beginning of human existence. They help people in the waking world through dreams.
This is done one of several ways; through dream interpretation, through prophetic dream, or through dream “intervention”. A dream intervention is when a dream catcher becomes part of someone's dream and purposely affects and influences the outcome of the dream seeking a specific result. This is the most dangerous part of a dream catchers work, as unlike other people, if a dream catcher is hurt in a dream, especially in an intervention dream, they feel the consequences when they wake up.
I also learned that Ed and Sue are trainers, they have trained several dream catchers, going back as far as when Ed was an undergrad.
Over time a secret trainers guild was formed, a group former and current trainers that oversees the trainers, as well as the dream catchers themselves.
This came as the result of several “unfortunate incidents.” Every dream catcher has both a trainer and a spirit guide in the dream world. My white tiger will be my spirit guide.
There are also forces in both the dream world and in waking life that fight against the dream catcher. Former trainers, renegade catchers, and those that feed off of peoples fear.
I am just scratching the surface of the vast amount of information on the lore of dream catchers, what they are, and what purpose they serve. In addition to this I also get a taste of what life will become as a dream catcher.
There will be mental, emotional, and physical training during waking hours. I will come to learn about my powers, what they are, how I can control them, how they can be used to help people.
In the not too distant future I will participate in a presentation ceremony followed by an intensive series of testing and questioning by the senior members of the trainers guild. If they are satisfied that I am the real dream catcher, the real work begins.
The accounts of some of the dreams that catchers have intervened in make my dreams seem mild.
Sometimes the people I'm supposed to help come seeking me, sometimes the prophecy dreams will lead me to them.
Once begun this will be my full-time job, my life's work. The only way out is if someone petitions the guild, on my behalf, to allow me to go on a quest.
There has to be certain criteria met before they will even grant a quest. If they do a dream catcher is confronted by themselves; their deepest fears, their self doubt, their shortcomings.
Only someone who has clear mind, a clear conscience, and a firm understanding of who they are, can complete the quest. Not everyone makes it.
I stay up reading a good portion of the night. I wonder in the back of my mind if this is really all true or if it is mere fantasy. A part of me wanting to believe, a part of me not wanting to believe. Around 3 am I fall into a deep sleep.
I'm back in the forest again, running for my life. The white tiger is chasing me again. I know I need to stop and challenge the tiger, but if I challenge the tiger and fail, I'm done. So I keep running. I can feel my heart racing. I just keep running. I make a sharp turn trying to throw the tiger off my trail. It doesn't work. She is still tight on my tail. I run more. I spot a small cave, I duck in. The tiger follows me into the cave. I'm literally backed against the wall. I summon all the courage I can.
I scream at the tiger, “I know who you are, I'm in control here, not you. You can only hurt me if I let you.” The tiger stares back at me unblinking.
Slowly, the tiger walks right up to me and nudges my hand and I tentatively pet her.
I wake up. Sitting bolt upright in bed, but not screaming. I look at the clock, 11 am. Oh no, I'm late. I move as fast as I can, getting some clothing on, and into my wheel chair.
I race down the hallways and into the McMillion’s office. I get there just as one of the other residents leaves their office.
I roll in, short of breath. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm late.”
Ed responds in a calm voice “Its, OK, the night shift supervisor said you were up reading till 3 am. I'm glad you are taking this seriously. The most important thing is that you didn't wake up screaming. Did you have any dreams?”
I can hardly keep the excitement out of my voice “Yeah, Yeah. I did what you told me to do in yesterdays session. At first I was too scared to challenge her, but I did it. I took control, I won. I did it.”
Sue and Ed Look back at me beaming with big smiles. Sue comes over to me and gives me a big hug “We knew you could do it. This is just the first of many steps.”
Ed still glowing says “We're going to be changing your schedule slightly to compensate for your training. There really isn't a need for you to undergo our normal course of treatment, as there really isn't something we need to treat. We've also pulled the equipment that we used with Dana, adjusted some of the exercise equipment. We also have Luke working on some extra equipment.”
“All of this trouble for me?” I ask.
“If you embark on this, we want to give you as much help as we can. You won't be alone doing this. You don't have to do this by yourself.” Sue says.
“I don't know what to say, other than thank you”, I said to both of them, almost on the verge of tears. For the first time in a long time I have someone in my life who was seeing what I am able to do, not what I can't do.
Sue then gets a slightly more serious look on her face. “Sara, there are 2 other things you need to know about. We know how upset you were about missing out on college, so we've worked some arrangements out with the community college to have a closed circuit tv system put in so you can take classes. It won't be full time, but you'll be able to take a couple of classes each semester. The other thing is that we've called your parents and you'll be staying here for the foreseeable future. Long term we may be able to get your own apartment nearby so you can continue to work with us.”
The two developments blow my mind. I had been here two days and my life already has, and will continue to change completely. It hit me just how serious this whole thing is going to be. I sit quietly contemplating all of this, and I nod slowly accepting that this is what is going to happen. I think about the amount of work, training, and self development this whole process is going to involve. I felt vaguely like being hit with a truck. But deep down I was OK with it. It wasn't what I wanted for my life, but when it comes down to it, I didn't have a whole lot of choice. I was going to have to make it work.
Then something occurs to me, “How did you explain all of this to my parents?”
“We told them that in order for your treatment to work you would need to stay here longer with us, also we would be helping with your long-term living skills, which the rehab center failed to help you develop. We felt it best if your parents didn't know the full extent of what is going on, in time you may want to tell them, it's your choice.” Ed says with a smirk.
“Oh.”
“We know this is a lot, and it's going to take time to sink in, but give it a chance.” Sue says, pausing, she says “Why don't we go for a walk and talk about this more over lunch.
First Original Dream Catcher
I consider her offer “That sounds like a good idea.” I reply.
So they get up from their seats and Sue wheels me out of the room. I think to myself, flashing back over everything that has happened in the last few days.
The dreams and the direction I had planned for my life were ending, but a new path, although it wasn't going to be easy or fun was just beginning.
I guess I'm just a little more than curious to see where it will lead me.